The truth: We all live in an inescapable subjective reality.

Objective reality does not exist. It can’t. Why? Because for something to be considered objective, it would have to be confirmed independently of the human mind.

Reality is shaped by an individual’s personal experiences, perceptions, beliefs, and emotions. Each person’s experience of the world is unique and constructed by their consciousness. What is “real” can vary from person to person.

You perceive and interpret events differently from others because your perception and interpretation of events are based on your own upbringing, culture, values, and psychological state. This is why it’s possible for one person to find the rain depressing, while another finds it relaxing.

Your beliefs and attitudes also significantly influence how you perceive reality. Emotions play a crucial role in shaping reality too, they can color your perception of events, making a neutral situation seem either positive or negative. This is incredibly important to recognize not only about yourself, but about others as well. Other people’s opinions are just that, opinions. What is true for them does not need to be true for you as well.

Here’s an example of how accepting someone else’s opinion (their reality) can be detrimental to your own reality:

Imagine you just started a new job. You’ve worked there for a few weeks and so far, things have been running smoothly. You enjoy the company of your coworkers, and your boss seems like a great guy. You enjoy the work you do, which is important because you spend a significant amount of time at work, and you get paid on time.

One day, Tiffany, the office manager, walks up to you and says, "John’s not going to pay the advertising consultant. Can you believe that? If he refuses to pay the advertising consultant, he could refuse to pay us as well!” In this scenario, John is the boss.

What are your thoughts regarding this conversation?

Some people will just take Tiffany’s word for it. They will engage in the conversation, possibly walking away feeling hopeless. Maybe she’s right. Maybe John will eventually stop paying me! Maybe he’s untrustworthy, a horrible businessman, maybe he doesn’t have enough money to pay the people he employs.

If you develop these beliefs about your boss due to something a coworker said, this will inevitably lead to negative consequences. Is it possible that he refused to pay the advertising consultant? Yes. But you aren’t the advertising consultant. And up until this point, you’ve been paid your salary on time. Are you really willing to change your beliefs about your boss due to Tiffany’s inability to keep her opinions and worries to herself? Or are you the type of person who will adopt her way of thinking?

Let’s just imagine that you’ve now chosen to think and believe exactly what Tiffany thinks and believes. You’re incapable of thinking for yourself. This happens more often than most people realize. Not only did her words influence you to change your opinion of your boss, but she also (unsurprisingly) told everyone else in the office the same story. Now every employee is worried that they won’t get paid. Office morale is low. Productivity decreases. The receptionist is so distraught that she spends most of her hours at work searching the web for a new job.

You begin to see the difference in your coworker’s behavior whenever your boss walks in the room. You, yourself, become overwhelmed with anxiety and the memory of that time you were told John refused to pay someone other than you. You think, “maybe it will be me next time! I hope I get paid this week!”

Months go by. John approaches you to let you know that your paycheck will be a few days late.

"I knew it! Tiffany was right! Right?"

Wrong.

“Reality is created by the mind; you can change your reality by changing your mind," a quote by Plato; one of my favorite philosophers, student of Socrates and teacher to Aristotle.

This is what you did. You changed your reality by changing your mind. You decided at some point that your boss was untrustworthy and unable or unwilling to pay you. You believed this to be true. Undoubtedly, you become suspicious that John is lying and your paycheck is never coming. Your entire perception of someone has changed just because you took Tiffany’s opinion as fact. It then became your opinion, and you believe your own thoughts.

Something you must know: Your brain is wired to win. If you think that you’re not going to get paid, you probably won’t. You’ll blame your boss, but it’s not his fault. It’s yours.

And although this is difficult to accept, you need to accept it. You need to accept that you are creating your reality with your own thoughts.

Is it beneficial for you to believe that your employer is unwilling or unable to pay you? Of course not. Don’t let the opinions of others sway your opinion of others. If a coworker had told me this story, I’d simply say something like, “sucks for that advertising consultant.”

Listen, we all have problems. The last thing I’m going to do is let someone else’s problem become my problem.

The Starbucks barista is rude, you say? No, she was rude TO YOU.

One of our friends is manipulative? Sounds to me like you feel manipulated by him. I don’t.

As you go about your day reminding yourself that you are creating reality with your mind, be aware that other people are doing the same thing. Protect your peace. Whatever you think is true, is true. Instead of listening to those thoughts causing you worry, anxiety, depression, paranoia, create thoughts that lead you to feel positive, that give you hope for a better future. This is essential to comprehend, especially at work, where it's in your best interest to believe that the business is doing well, the person you work for is trustworthy and you will continue receiving your salary that allows you to do important things like... pay for your mortgage, buy groceries, and provide for your family.

Just because something happened to someone else doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you.

Unless, of course, that’s what you think.

If you believe it’ll work out, you’ll see opportunities.

If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.

-Dr. Wayne Dyer